Sign Next to the Ex

A romantic relationship can end for many reasons: distance, differing values, outside interference, and in extreme instances, legal mandates. With the exception of the latter, the two people may attempt to maintain a friendship, however, I’ve rarely ever met ex’s that can successfully transition into friends. Even if a relationship ends on amicable terms, each person generally wishes the other well in all areas except romance.

In my experience, hearing my ex talk about his love life is painful. Seeing him with another woman is like being punched in the belly button, unexpected and cripling. Even after you’ve physically seperated from a person the emotional attachment is so hard to eradicate.

The closest comparison I can make is my relationship with clothing. For instance, when you’ve outgrown or worn out a favorite Continue reading

Searching for 5

One of my favorite pastimes is chatting with women about their dating woes and triumphs.  I find women’s ideas of dating fascinating, illuminating, and sometimes nonsensical at once. 

5I was sharing with a friend the 5 things I’m looking for in a woman, and after listing them, she told me that a man need only have three things going for him:

  1. Employment
  2. A car
  3. Relatively nice attitude

Her list is very sad and informative.  Hopefully, I don’t have to explain her list.  I think it speaks for itself.  We can discuss it if you’d like, though.  Anyhow, I think those three things are far more common than she is letting on.  As for me, I’m looking for 5–count’em 5–attributes in a woman.  One would think these five things would be easy enough to find, but I feel like I may as well be searching for a penguin in Death Valley.  Continue reading

Freedom Is…(Inspiration for All People)

Any real change implies the breakup of the world as one has always known it, the loss of all that gave one an identity, the end of safety.  And at such a moment, unable to see and not daring to imagine what the future will now bring forth, one clings to what one knew; to what one possessed or dreamed that one possessed.  Yet, it is only when a man is able, without bitterness or self-pity, to surrender a dream he has long cherished or a privilege he has long possessed that he is set free—he has set himself free—for higher dreams, for greater privileges.”—James Baldwin


POP (Power of the Penis)

I’ve been adding my three cents (more “cents” than you, ha!) throughout the blogosphere lately, and Peggy McIntosh’s classic article on White privilege, “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Backpack” continues to be relevant discourse in just about any area of life that has to do with status and privilege.  I’ve been thinking about my own privileges.  Though relatively few and ineffectual compared with White men, I do, as a man, have some important privileges compared to women in general.

And, in a McIntosh-esque manner, I have compiled a list of privileges that I hold as a Black man compared with Black women.  Many of these privileges extend beyond race to all women, but I want you to know that I am thinking of Black women specifically and women in general.  My list is as follows: Continue reading

One Man’s Attractiveness Hierarchy: Just What Constitutes a 10?!

We have all ranked a man or woman on a scale from 1 to 10, and such scales are necessarily subjective.  And, that’s okay.  Still, in the spirit of conformity (a conservative’s dream!), I humbly offer the following scale for ranking individuals’ attractiveness:

There are no 1’s.  A 1 would be so horrifically unattractive that gazing upon this person’s features would strike one dead or perhaps instantly transform you into pillar of salt.  This does not mean that there have never been any 1’s.  They are usually killed at birth out of fear, desperation, and the inability to comprehend what evil has been visited in the form of a bundle of disorganized cells.  In fact, it is from 1’s that the common saying, “god does not like ugly” is derived.  So rare is a 1 that even god pauses before unleashing such evil upon us.

There are 2’s, but these individuals are usually imagined as goblins, trolls, or other creatures under bridges that are similarly nocturnal.  Often 2’s are cave dwellers, so be careful where you explore–particularly in Europe, as 2’s are largely found in caves in the Caucus Mountains and other rock formations in the UK as well. Continue reading

PSA: How to Tell Whether Your Black Man Dates White Women…

Okay ladies, this is a list of items, characteristics, looks, traits that you can investigate in order to discover whether your Black man dates White women without having to ask him.  You may add to the list as you see fit.  I’ll start this one off…

Your Black man dates White women…

1)  if he shaves his mustache but leaves his chin hair.

2) if he wears mandals (man sandals).

3) if the bottom of his jeans are frayed.

4) if he speaks no Black jargon.

5) if he is from Torrance, CA (or any predominately White neighborhood).

6) if some of his closest friends are White or Asian.