The Pleasure Principle

When I first heard about genital mutilation, it was my freshmen year of college during my women’s studies class.  As I studied the practice, I was beyond outraged. I couldn’t understand how the world could allow such a barbaric and inhumane practice to continue. Aside from that, I wondered how the practice even got started. It hit me; genital mutilation is the ultimate means for men to control women.
Think about it. In medieval times, men controlled women through Chastity belts. Whomever had the key had the only access to take a dip in the fountain of youth. But genital mutilation makes Chastity belts look like edible underwear.
Genital mutilation is a process where the clitoris is partially covered or completely removed. The practice occurs in various African and Asian countries as a religious practice, an attempt to preserve virginity, and/or maintain cultural identification. To cut to the chase, this practice drastically reduces a woman’s pleasure during sex.
Now I’ve had sex for many purposes: passion, bargaining and occasionally so I can get the comatose-esque sleep that follows. Regardless of the purpose, I have always enjoyed having it, so it is damn near impossible for me to imagine being numb to the pleasure. The only thing I can compare genital mutilation to is anal sex.
Although I haven’t and won’t try anal sex, every woman who I know who has says it is extremely painful. When asked why they did it, the overwhelming response is to please their man. The man can enjoy a tighter experience while the woman literally prays for it to be over.
But unlike anal sex, the women that undergo genital mutilation don’t have a choice. They can’t wait a week or two for their new outtie belly button to become an innie so they can pretend it never happened, it’s permanent.  People need to speak out and spread awareness about this painful, traumatic practice.    We don’t need to add this to the list of worries that the voiceless and powerless need to solve themselves.

Sign Next to the Ex

A romantic relationship can end for many reasons: distance, differing values, outside interference, and in extreme instances, legal mandates. With the exception of the latter, the two people may attempt to maintain a friendship, however, I’ve rarely ever met ex’s that can successfully transition into friends. Even if a relationship ends on amicable terms, each person generally wishes the other well in all areas except romance.

In my experience, hearing my ex talk about his love life is painful. Seeing him with another woman is like being punched in the belly button, unexpected and cripling. Even after you’ve physically seperated from a person the emotional attachment is so hard to eradicate.

The closest comparison I can make is my relationship with clothing. For instance, when you’ve outgrown or worn out a favorite Continue reading