He Said/He Meant: Perkins On Being Posterized

Recently, Blake Griffin of the exciting Los Angeles Clippers stole Kendrick Perkins’ heart and soul with an unmitigated dunk.  Now, hands down, the dunk was one of the most exciting dunks I’ve ever seen.  It reminds me of Scotty Pippen taking a dog shit on Patrick Ewing and Vince Carter jumping over a 7-footer to dunk (look those dunks up).


In response to the above dunk, spectacular as it was, and it was, a few NBA players–Chris Paul, Dwayne Wade, & LeBron James–tweeted regarding Perkins’ recent dunking demise.  Here’s what LeBron James said:

Dunk of the Year!! @blakegriffin just dunked on Kendrick Perkins so hard!! Wow!! I guess I’m #2 now. Move over #6

In response to fans of basketball, in general, and LeBron James, specifically, Kendrick Perkins, who looks like his middle name could be “Mayhem,” tweeted this:

You don’t see Kobe [Bryant] tweeting.  You don’t see Michael Jordan tweeting. If you’re an elite player, plays like that don’t excite you.  At the end of the day, the guys who are playing for the right reasons who are trying to win championships are not worrying about one play.

They also are not tweeting about themselves talking about going down to No. 2.  I just feel [James] is always looking for attention and he wants the world to like him.

That’s what he said.  Let me tell you what he meant:

This is some bullshit!  Aight, I was dunked on.  Okay, actually I was completed owned and shitted on.  So y’all ain’t got no love for me?  This is where we at?  Y’all make me sick!  Until LeBron earns a ring, he shouldn’t have the right to say a damned thing about me being shitted on.  (becomes teary-eyed)  This ain’t fair.  Y’all know I can’t jump with that Griffin!  Why y’all keep giving LeBron so much press?  I know he’s good.  I know it!  But, damn!  I’m still a man.  I got feelings too!

Here’s the problem with Kendrick “Mayhem” Perkins’ tweet.  First, LeBron James is a fan of the game.  Why wouldn’t he be?  You were on the wrong end of one of the most spectacular plays in basketball.  By the way, to suggest that a dunk is unimportant is just plain stupid.  The dunk is what makes basketball great.  It’s an opportunity for one player to speak volumes about his game without saying a word.  Two men go up, one comes down without his heart.  Deal with it!  Hell, we love the dunk so much that we have a contest for it!  Perkins was done up right by the recent dunk contest champ.  Again, deal with it!

Also, to suggest that an elite player wouldn’t tweet about this dunk is just plain stupid.  So, Chris Paul and Dwayne Wade are not elite?  And would someone tell Kendrick “Mayhem” Perkins that he has never reached elite status?  If Perkins’ monkey ass could’ve jumped high enough to dunk on Blake Griffin, that would’ve been the highlight of his role-playing career.

Mr. Perkins, Blake Griffin dunked on you with reckless abandon and extreme antipathy.  It is what it is…It’s professional basketball.  Take your ball and go home if you can’t handle the criticism.


The Fans

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