Immigration: A Tale of Ants & Brownies

I made brownies last week.  They were amazing!  I sat in a rich chocolate food-coma on my couch with a plate of more brownies than I could eat.  I forced myself and into bed, and after two days of leaving the remaining brownies out, a line of ants has formed from somewhere outside my home to my pile of brownies.

Everyday I spray the line of ants.  Everyday, they return.  Some days I stomp the line of ants.  I never kill them all.  I recently tried building a fence around my home in the areas from which I think the ants are coming.  They keep coming!  I thought to electrify the fence, but I simply cannot afford to do that.

My children have begun to complain that they are not getting any of the brownies that I cooked because the damned ants are eating them.  Now, I’ve been debating with friends about this issue, and we’ve decided that the problem is that the ants won’t stop coming over here.  So, we’re putting together plans to capture ants we find and send them back outside of my home, but it seems that the ants keep coming.

Between you and I, the ants do me the favor of killing the other little critters that are sometimes found in my home, such as daddy long leg spiders and the occasional common house spider.  So, I kinda don’t mind the ants so much because I think spiders are icky and scary.  Killing spiders is a dirty job that I don’t want and that my kids refuse.


Tell me this: how intelligent is my plan?  How successful am I likely to be at keeping the ants out with the procedures I’ve taken thus far?

This is precisely what our nation’s leaders are proposing with regard to illegal immigration.  The truth is that if we truly wanted to do something about illegal immigrants, we would institute policies, laws, and sanctions that so severely penalize businesses that hire illegal immigrants, that no manager or business owner would consider hiring an illegal immigrant.  This would effectively remove the plate of brownies from the table.  It’s asinine to discuss building walls or electric fences (stupid ass Herman Cain) because those ideas don’t address the issue.

People immigrate here for opportunities.  If there were no opportunities, people would stop coming.  Switzerland is a beautiful country, but the world is not clamoring to get into Switzerland because, in large part, the brownies arent’ sitting out in the open there.  If you are bleeding, it is a waste of time to keep wiping blood up when you could simply sew up the cut from which the blood flows.

Discussing any other “alternatives” for addressing illegal immigration is a waste of time and an implicit admission that the nativism that leads some to place the responsibility of their frustrations on the shoulders of illegal immigrants (Mexicans in particular) is just irrational and unfounded.


5 thoughts on “Immigration: A Tale of Ants & Brownies

  1. You are exactly right. I like the ant connection, and the approach you take to the immigration issue. Let’s look at immigration from a common sense standpoint like you articulated, not one motivated by politics. I write about common sense and politics a lot on my blog and I invite you to check it out. I have a feeling we will agree on much of the same stuff!

  2. Great parallel! I thought you had lost your mind at first. You are right…if people were not willing to hire illegal immigrants they’d have no desire to sneak into the country.

    I personally don’t understand why we don’t welcome these folks into the country. We have after all touted ourselves as the land of opportunity. I get the thing about illegals sucking up resources…but if we’d just let them into the country freely and offer them jobs that collected taxes…this would not be an issue. We seem to offer opportunity to everyone except black and brown folks.

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