It Can’t Be That Damned Hard to Find a Man!

I recently had a full “work up” of tests for an assortment of sexually transmitted diseases (or infections these days).  I don’t have:

  1. That Bad…HIV (either strand)
  2. Syphilis (a Tuskegee joke would be in poor taste even for this blog entry)
  3. The Clap…gonorrhea
  4. The Silent Disease…chlamydia
  5. The Gift that Keeps on Giving…herpes (HSV1 or 2)
  6. Hepatitis B or C

Yay cleanliness!  I didn’t get tested for HPV because there is no test for men, but it is a highly contagious disease that adversely affects millions of women and can make your genital area or mouth look like this and/or this!  PLEASE get information regarding HPV here.

Thankfully, I remain in that increasingly selective fraternity of men who have never been “burned”–that is, infected with any sexually transmitted diseases.

Hopefully, one more man (a Black man at that) who has kept up with knowing his “status” will encourage more to do the same.  Shout out to Tahir Moore who is the most status knowingest brotha that I have ever known.  No one gets less ass and more tests than that dude!  Check him out here!

But this entry isn’t really about my status.  It’s about, well, just read what I have to say, and decide for yourselves…

A thirty something year old Black woman, attractive and moderately intelligent has found herself single.  Nothing exciting or surprising about that.  She was dating a pear-shaped brotha who resembles a human Eeyore (without the depressing demeanor), but after a few months, he traded her in for a wooden nickel, citing irreconcilable issues on her part and “bitch assness” on his part.

While continuing to pine for Eeyore, who by the way, was NOT thinking about her at all, she began to date a mysterious man who wasn’t too excited to have sex with her.

At first she was delighted that she wasn’t getting the usual pressures to be sexually involved, but then she became worrisome because she was accustomed to eager sexual advances and couldn’t figure out why this guy wasn’t pushing for sex.

She FOOLed around with him several times, but it never went further than high school humping (don’t act like you didn’t hump!).  After his own sexual desires began to bubble in his loins, the mystery man revealed himself to be the proud owner of The Gift that Keeps on Giving.  They’d been dating for just about three months.

He explained that he’d spoken with his sister, a doctor, who counseled him that herpes is very manageable (not entirely true) and that as long as he wears a condom, his partner would be safe (not at all true).  That doesn’t really matter because he exhorted our thirty something, attractive and moderately intelligent Black woman to “swallow” (no explanation should be needed).  Parenthetically, that’s not the easiest request to have any woman fulfill, but it is especially difficult to convince a woman to swallow your herpes-infected sperm.  No condom in the world could help her with that.  Thankfully, our moderately intelligent sista decided to see a real gynecologist who informed her that herpes (HSV1 & 2) are highly contagious and that no condom would save her from contracting the viruses (for which there are no cures) if she chooses to have sex (protected or not) with the mystery man.

This should be a done deal, but she is only moderately intelligent.  She is presently debating whether to just sleep with him and hold on to him because at least he’s a man with problems of which she’s aware.  “Besides,” she reasoned to an intelligent friend, “I get cold sores, so I don’t wanna judge him.”  Parenthetically, “cold sores” are nothing more than oral herpes.  Yes.  That’s what a cold sore is.  That’s why those sores don’t wait for you to have a cold to show up.

That she is contemplating sleeping with the mystery man, who by the way has admitted that he doesn’t think he owes it to the women he might date to share what he might share with them if they become intimate with him, suggests to me that she already slept with him.  I could be wrong.

Here’s the real question though:

Is it really that difficult for Black women to find Black men worth dating?

Honestly, there’s gotta be some rules!

Rule #331….You can’t return The Gift that Keeps on Giving.

2 thoughts on “It Can’t Be That Damned Hard to Find a Man!

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