Few things shock me, but women have some interesting (and wholly unscientific) ways of determining a man’s equipment potential. Below are some of the methods that some women use to make that determination.
- Deep Pee. A woman once asked me to allow her to hear me pee. Obviously confused, I asked her why, and she told me that she could tell what I had by the sound of the pee hitting the water! Two immediate reactions: (1) I can’t believe she really told me that, and (2) how stupid is this chick? There is no connection between penis size and the forcefulness with which a man pees. There is, however, a connection between pee sounds and how long a man has been holding it.
- How tall are you again? If he’s tall, he’s probably “blessed.” One would assume that height corresponds to penis size, but one would be wrong. There is no direction connection between the two. Just ask the many women who have slept with a man who is 6’0″ tall and up. Sometimes you unwrap a huge package, and the gift inside could’ve been in a much smaller package.
- Once you go Black…Is it true what they say about Black men? Well, it’s true what they say about some Black men, but certainly not all Black men. Nevertheless, there are a lot of women who still believe that Black men just have bigger penises. I know of no scientific study of penis size by race, and I certainly won’t be the one to conduct such a study. I suspect that even if it could be proven that Black men tend to have smaller penises than of men of other racial groups, the stereotype wouldn’t change.
- Big hands/wrists. There are a slew of would-be connections between hand or wrist size and penis size: (1) if his fingers are long, then it’s big, (2) if his hands are big with short fingers, then it’s big, (3) if his wrists are thick, then it’s big, (4) if his fingers are thick, then it’s big, and (5) if the distance from the tip of his thumb to the edge of his palm is long, it’s big. Wowsers! Is any of this true? Not scientifically speaking.
- Baritone. Now, there is a connection between the tone of a man’s voice and the amount of testosterone in his body, but even that connection is not direct. The connection between penis size and tone of voice is completely spurious.
- Chubby guys do it better. I’ve received equivalent reports on this matter. Do short chubby guys tend to have big penises? Other than Ron Jeremy, I’ve only heard that they don’t. In fact, I’d like very much to reveal a story as told to me by a friend, but she probably won’t allow me. Let’s just say that this particular chubby fellow had been despised by the penis gods since birth.
- In thirteens! Probably the most pervasive dick myth is that the size of a man’s feet correlates to his penis size. Your foot is as big as the distance from your wrist to your elbow, but that’s the only correlation, ladies. But, y’all know that.
- Where? I wanna see. When all else fails, you can always just look. One caveat is that the man needs to be erect because some of us are “showers,” and others are “growers.” In case you’ve never heard these terms, a “shower” is a man whose penis is (while flaccid) the basic size it will be when it’s erect. A “grower” is a man with a penis that (from a flaccid state) is likely to multiply in size several times before reaching a full erection. Just looking may be a clue, but the only way to really know is to experience it.
What’s most interesting to me about these penis myths is that they are not perpetuated by men the way so many other penis myths are. These are spread by women, and presumably, women would know. LOL I guess not.