The Ultimate Afterthought Holiday: Father’s Day

I’m a single father, and I’m considering boycotting Father’s Day altogether.  It’s a slap in the face.  I don’t know how it is for fathers who are in a relationship with the mother of their children, but if you’re single and raising your children, the day is completely ridiculous. 

“Oh yeah.  It’s Father’s Day…”  I don’t mind that that’s what so many folk think aloud when Father’s Day is almost over, but it did raise my nape hairs to learn that my kids somehow got it in their heads that on Father’s Day, I’m supposed to take them somewhere special!  On Mother’s Day, mommy gets a day of rest and relaxation.  From what?  If I’m the single parent, what is she resting from?  Secondly, there is a lot of energy surrounding Mother’s Day, and children are commissioned to develop artwork for their mothers.  If I hadn’t told my children when Father’s Day was, they wouldn’t even have known.  I love the gifts I received this year, and like all the other gifts my children give me, I’m going to keep what I was given this year; however, it is clear that no thought (save afterthoughts) or effort went into what I received.  They’re too young to shop for me or bring me a tie (thank goodness), but my son quickly scribbled my gift in front of me.  He had me shopping for supplies for mommy’s gift (WTF?!). 

I’m satisfied with whatever I receive from my kids, but it burns me that single mothers are given honorary “Happy Father’s Day” wishes.  I have never heard of a single father, no matter how excellent a single parent he may be, receiving an honorary “Happy Mother’s Day” wish. 

Whatever the statistics on Black fathers, I submit that fathers everywhere (especially single fathers) deserve to have their day to be honored for our hardwork and dedication to parenthood.  It should not be assumed that we are less caring, less loving, less emotional, or connected to our children because we are not.  The bond and connection I share with my children could not be fully understood by a woman.  It is a uniquely daddy connection, and it should not be disregarded or devalued because I’m a man.  I’m in love with my children–even though they get on my damned nerves at times (lol).  How about a real day for us rather than some afterthought holiday created to give the semblance of balance? 

Thanks and peace and blessings to my friends and loved ones who wished me a happy Father’s Day.  I certainly appreciate it, and you all know how hard I struggle.  Give us our day.  We work hard people, and we deserve it.  That is all.

One thought on “The Ultimate Afterthought Holiday: Father’s Day

  1. Word. About midway through the day the phone calls and texts started rolling in, and it definitely had an “after thought” feel to it, as in, “oh yeah, my homie (government name redacted) is a good dad. Lemme give him a quick shout out.”

    Mother’s Day is a HUGE event, the likes of which Father’s Day has NO chance of catching up with. It sucks, but it is what it proverbially is.

    On another note, it aint too bad if you’re married. I got some great gifts that I could actually use, then my wife got with her homegirl who lives down the street, and her and her husband came over for a dinner the wives made. It was good times, but the fanfare still wasn’t effin with Mother’s Day.

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