Fashion Files – Volume 1: Metro-sexuals

According to the term metro-sexual is defined as a heterosexual male who has a strong aesthetic sense and an inordinate interest in appearance and style, similar to that of homosexual males. However, defines it as a straight man who embraces the homosexual lifestyle, i.e. refined tastes in clothing, excessive use of designer hygiene products, etc. Usually he is on the brink of homosexuality.

With that said, metro-sexualism is running rampant among heterosexual males. The idea that it should take you longer to get groomed and dressed than me is ridiculous. Don’t get be confused though, I love that your shower time is at least 15 minutes and that you make sure your clothes are ironed, shoes are clean and hair is neat. But what I can’t get over is how your jeans match mine (fit and color), that your eyebrows are shaped, and that you ask one “Does this look good on me?” A clearer line needs to be drawn so that men can go back to being masculine and I’m going to start here:

  1. Nail maintenance: the occasional trip to the nail salon for a pedicure is a good idea, just like you want our feet to be smooth and claw-free; we want the same of yours. However, clear polish is UNACCEPTABLE and I will take that as you letting me know that you’re no longer into my kind. Manicures are ONLY okay if you use your hands at work (i.e., mechanic, construction, factory worker) because the dirt and grime accumulated under your nails would be hazardous; otherwise a quick clipping and/or filing at home would suffice.
  2. Clothing: skinny jeans, shiny jeans, anything bedazzled or rhinestoned (sorry Christian Audigier) better NOT be on your body or in your closet.
  3. Alcoholic beverages (if you choose to drink them): Drinking a martini = James Bond. Drinking an appletini = Perez Hilton. Doing a round of shots with fellas at the club = guy’s night out. Going to a wine tasting with the fellas = girls’ night out. 

    the homo image - the tight v-neck shirts with tight jeans; it's casual but meticulously over-styled

the hetero image - he is casually dressed, but matching and he is neat

the metro image – the perfect eyebrows and “messily styled” hair are 2 steps towards sexual ambiguity and 3 steps towards “we’re on a group date”

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