I’m a very peculiar person. I feel the need to investigate things that others might consider a waste of time. As such, I was recently compelled to determine the identity of the employee who feels the need to wipe his ass and throw the toilet paper, shit side up (WTF?!?!), in the garbage rather than flushing it down the toilet like the rest of us.
I made up my mind that as the manager I would not individually confront the offensive culprit prior to having some evidence. I needed to be more diplomatic about things. I spent some weeks investigating–it was dirty, stinky being the first to enter the restroom after someone had just laid an unholy egg (WTF). I began by evaluating my team in terms of culture, overall hygiene, customer concern, and respect for me. My White employee is relatively clean. He’s a bit more catholic in his culture than the average White man. He’s genuinely concerned about customer satisfaction, and he certainly respects me. My new assistant manager, a Black man, matches my own proclivities in realtion to the variables my investigation was concerned with, so I ruled him out quickly. That left my two Mexican employees (sadly). One scored moderate to high on the variables in question, but the other, still fresh from Mexico, scored very low marks in terms of overall hygiene (WTF). This was, in fact, the only aberration from the rest of the team.
Feeling confident that I’d discovered with whom the blame lies, I held a team meeting, discussing marketing, being detail-oriented, customer service, and other issues. I stared into the eyes of my team members randomly as I conducted the meeting, but as I moved on to discussing bathroom cleanliness, I stared at the guilty party, and he could not look me in the eye as I detailed how unnecessary it is to save shit-stained toilet paper in the trash can when they will flush (generally) without incident. He nodded in what I considered to be tacit agreement that the behavior was his and would stop.
Later, I did some secondary investigating in order to close the case with a few notes, and apparently, there are some areas in Mexico, where the guilty party is directly from, in which the plumbing simply cannot handle flushing toilet paper, and so there is a waste basket for garbage and another one for used toilet paper (WTF?!). Two days ago, I pulled my ESL employee aside and boldly told him to flush all articles used during his defecation. His face flushed red, and he scurried away like a frightened squirrel (WTF). I haven’t seen him use the restroom at all since. Perhaps he’s saving himself and his shitty toilet tissue for homecourt advantage.