No one really cares when men are turned down–not women and not even men. Traditionally, men are expected to handle being turned down with a certain measure of grace if for no other reason than men are often turned down by women. Interestingly, this is not the case for women. Sitting in the seat of passivity, women choose whatever would-be suitors come their way, taking no thought of the pain and devaluation that often comes with being turned down time and again.
In my time, I have turned down sex with different women for different reasons. What I have found is that no matter how I explain the Earth-shattering news that a man is turning down a willing female sex partner, the woman is always taken aback. I’ve been kicked out, called gay, cursed out, slapped, and once a woman disrespected my mother and my upbringing.
As shocking as it may sound, the female ego is far more fragile than any male ego. It hasn’t even entered the minds of most women that a man may not enjoy sex with them; however, this is often the case, and men talk badly about women in much the same ways women bad mouth a poor performance from a man. Ladies, you should know, if you don’t already, that ejaculation is primarily a biological function designed to further the human race. This should not be equated with how well you performed during the sex act. In other words, assuming there is no biological issue with the man, he will ejaculate at some point during sex, and even then, performance is necessary.
But how does a woman respond when no matter how sexually aroused she is or how much effort she puts into pleasing a man, he simply doesn’t show much interest in her–i.e. he doesn’t reach his climax or declines sex altogether? I have found that women have no idea what to do, and that can lead to crying (yes CRYING), a multitude of excuses, a long bout of self-examination, and a self-esteem shock. Can we imagine an average man being shocked that a woman isn’t as interested in sex with him as he is with her? The very thought is laughable.
It’s funny to me actually. It just doesn’t enter into the mind of a woman that a man that she wants could actually turn her down in spite of her willingness or desire to have sex. Have you ever been to a male-oriented strip club? There are so many rules about what the men are allowed to touch, that it may be cheaper and just as arousing to be at home watching porn on the internet. Now, conversely, a female-oriented strip club is a sight to see. A long line of women develops, waiting for a few moments with the chosen stripper. It is nothing for the woman to grab the male stripper’s penis, his ass, or whatever else, and the assumption is that the man likes it. News flash: not every heterosexual male is so thirsty for sex.
It’s commonplace for me to walk through a crowd in a club and basically be molested by passing women who apparently think it’s a man’s dream to be sexually groped. Funny thing is, it never occurs to these women that if I did the same thing, they would be offended at the assumption and I’d be considered a jerk. ‘Funny how that works…