One of my favorite pastimes is chatting with women about their dating woes and triumphs. I find women’s ideas of dating fascinating, illuminating, and sometimes nonsensical at once.
I was sharing with a friend the 5 things I’m looking for in a woman, and after listing them, she told me that a man need only have three things going for him:
- A car
- Relatively nice attitude
Her list is very sad and informative. Hopefully, I don’t have to explain her list. I think it speaks for itself. We can discuss it if you’d like, though. Anyhow, I think those three things are far more common than she is letting on. As for me, I’m looking for 5–count’em 5–attributes in a woman. One would think these five things would be easy enough to find, but I feel like I may as well be searching for a penguin in Death Valley.
Part of the problem (if we wanna call it that) is that I refuse to lower my standards. I could surely find a woman to marry me. I could find casual sex or just about anything in between, but I would have to settle to make those things happen, and to be honest, I’m just not desperate or lonely enough for that. In fact, I’m quite happy, and I don’t want to waste this inner joy (corny-sounding I know) on just any trout-moufded (yeah I said it!) woman just because she has a vagina that she’s willing to share. Take it how you want, but vaginas are a dime a dozen–literally. If you have a dime you can “purchase” a dozen vaginas–the woman is sold separately.
Anyhow, my list, in no particular order, is as follows:
- A good sense of humor–this should be self-explanatory. I love to laugh, and so if you’re not happy enough to laugh with me, we will never work.
- Availability–I’ve got this bad habit of always being attracted and attracting someone else’s woman. I don’t know what vibe I’m giving off, but I really need to identify the problem and correct it. Anyhow, I need the woman to be available with regard to her relationship status, emotional status, and distance wise as well.
- Attractive–let’s be honest about this. Physical beauty matters–nuff said.
- A good heart–this might seem common, but I shit you not when I tell you that most women do not have a good heart. This may be due to past relationships, but whatever the cause, I don’t need a mean or bitter woman around me.
- Intelligence–I am simply not trying to spend my time with an ignorant person. That’s just that. Don’t say “conversate” to me.
Let’s break things down a bit. 98% of all women have at least one of these five items. That percentage drops to 67% when requiring women to have two of five items. Guess how much the drop is for women with three items–15%! I’ve done the research here, so just accept this gospel. I’d date a woman with three of these items right now with no questions asked. If I could find one of the 2.5% of Earth’s women who have four of five of these items, I’d try to marry her every chance I had to see her or talk to her. There are only 6 women in the world with all five items, and I would sign up for a vasectomy just to be in their presence.
…And, when I view things in the truth of this light, I understand completely why I’m single! lol
Oh well…what are your must haves?