Don’t Let Them Call You A Slut….Unless You Qualify

In a very interesting conversation with a friend about a friend of a friend’s sexual activity (convoluted already), it came out that we are not all operating with an…operational definition of “whore,” “slut,” “tramp,” or “ho.”  And because I’m curious in this way, I thought it only right that I offer my understanding of these three terms.

To be sure, I consider “whore,” “slut,” “tramp,” “ho” to be terms and not concepts, yet paradoxically, I believe that there is a sliding scale of whoredom, sluttiness, ho-ness, and tramphood.

 

 <———————————————————————————————————————————–> 

Whoredom                 sluttiness                                 ho-ness                               tramphood

An individual, male or female, moves along the promiscuous continuum based upon the number of “checks” s/he must pass through prior to engaging in sexual activity.  A check or checkpoint is sexual reference safeguard that one must pass through in order to determine the sexual worthiness of a potential partner.  One’s “standard” will determine with what class of individual s/he will engage in sexual activity.  A standard is a criterion used to determine the long-term worthiness of a potential mate for exclusive rights to sexual activity.  There are many classes of mate.  One’s classification may be based upon socioeconomic status, degree of cultural competency, intellect, attractiveness, and/or generally anything that may be used to determine whether someone is even worth engaging in conversation.

One’s standards, the number of checkpoints one must pass through, and the class of individual in question determine where one falls along the promiscuous continuum.  Because the terms along the promiscuous continuum cannot be understood apart from one another, we shall relate and define them as follows:

A whore is an individual, male or female, who sleeps with multiple mid- to high-class partners for profit or gain.  The gain may be financial, social, political, or otherwise, but free sex is not the realm of the whore.  In order to even come into contact with a whore, one must have reached at least a mid-range socioeconomic status, as a whore will see no use in sleeping with a man or woman who cannot benefit her/him.  While a whore may sleep with the occasional low-status man or woman, this is nothing more than training.  Actual sexual pleasure is nothing more than a bonus for whores.  A friend asking a whore whether the sex was good will rarely hear anything deeper than “it was whatever, but….[insert comment about money or status here].”  There is often overlap between sexual partners in the never-ending search for the big ticket.  Whores often find themselves with sugar momma’s and/or sugar daddies.  The most important checkpoint for a whore is the answer to, “Can I benefit from sleeping with this person?”  Whores plan pregnancy the same way we might plan an investment in a given stock.

A slut is an individual, male or female, who sleeps with multiple partners (with considerable overlap)—regardless of class—purely for the joy of it.  Sluts pass through relatively few mental checkpoints in order to have sex.  Although he didn’t know it, a poet once described a male slut’s motto with words something to effect of, “If it’s good enough, and it’s hot, and I can get it up, it’s got to get got.”  That goes both ways for male and female sluts.  Upon hearing the news that he is to be a father, a male slut may have to be reminded of the situation under which he slept with the woman he impregnated.  A female slut may have to conduct some serious calculations in order to determine whothe father of her child is, and even still, she may end up crying on Maury’s shoulder. 

A ho is a slut squared.  A hoe may sleep with two or more partners in a twenty-four span of time.  Hoes are not concerned with standards, and more importantly, a hoe cannot tell the difference between an attractive offer worthy of improving oneself and another opportunity to be disrespected through sexual exploits; hence, the saying, “You can’t turn a ho into a housewife [or husband].”  A ho cannot recognize a good thing, as hoes are largely just vaginas or penises with eyes. 

A tramp is everything a hoe is without concern for diseases or pregnancy.  Typhoid Mary/Mark is not even the word for a tramp.  Tramps have poor hygiene, and they are not concerned with the hygiene of their sexual partners.  Dirty babies galore and plenty-o-trips to cure serious and not-so-serious Sti-Duhs (STD’s) marks the tramp. 

A Chart of Selected Checkpoints…Table 1

 

Checks

 

Job

Intelligence

Humor

Inde-

pendence

Hygiene

Trustworth-iness

Social Status

Sexual Potency

Relationship Availability

Whore

X

X

 

X

X

 

X

 

 

Slut

 

 

X

 

X

 

 

X

 

Ho

 

 

X

 

X

 

 

 

 

Tramp

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Watch Your Friends Level (from 1 to 10)…Table 2

 

Sex With My Friends?

Whore

88.01 (+)

Slut

63.24 % (+)

Ho

76.89% (+)

Tramp

100% (+)

 

In table 1, a check is placed in the column that represents a check that applies to each promiscuous category.  As you will undoubtedly notice, there are no checks in the “tramp” category.  That’s not an accident.  While there are other checks that would have to be included in a comprehensive list, for the purposes of this post, these are the most common ones.

In table 2, the number represents the probability that the whore, slut, tramp, or ho will sleep with one of your friends.  This number is derived from a complex formula that includes the overall social status of your friends, their attractiveness, and many other criterions (more information on this table is available upon request).

Now, it is important to not that there are many ways to become a whore, slut, ho, or tramp.  The most common symptom that characterizes individuals within these categories is low self-esteem.  Low self-esteem, unchecked (pun intended), is nothing more than a race to the bottom—to tramphood.  Does this mean that you cannot sleep with multiple partners?  No.  But know what you’re setting yourself up for.

With that: any questions?

4 thoughts on “Don’t Let Them Call You A Slut….Unless You Qualify

  1. “Whores plan pregnancy the same way we might plan an investment in a given stock.”

    That is my favorite line in this blog. Hahahaha. I love it. This will be brought up for discussion among my various groups of friends/acquaintances. Thank you.

  2. Hi-larious! I love that you really took the topic seriously, went on Excel and made charts and everything. No pussy-footin’ around, I see. I would love to know how many sources you interviewed in order to come up with this data. How many whores, sluts, tramps and hoes did you in fact collect data from? Lol. It’s funny, but in all seriousness, I would like to know.
    Well done, by the way.

  3. “If it’s good enough and it’s hot, as long as I can get it up, then it’s got to get got.”
    –Talaam Acey

    Dope post Sun.

  4. I am extremely fascinated with this post. I have never stopped to think about the differences between these terms. It all makes perfect sense. Thank you Sundjata! You always keep me thinking.

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