WTF Wednesday: Muffin Top

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WTF Wednesdays

WTF Wednesdays

I live in So. Cal. friends, and I am extremely troubled by an ignored epidemic here.  The button imprints on your stomach,

the inability to breathe naturally,

the too-little T-shirt that is hard-pressed to connect with the top of your jeans–you guessed it!  Muffin top is attacking women (apparently unbeknownst to them) at alarming rates.

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What is this?…And let me give a special WTF to those women who were not available when god was passing out round butts.  Is the goal to somehow trick us into thinking that you do have a nice butt?  Are we to ignore the volcanic-like explosion of meat atop your struggling belt line?

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Is showing your tattoo that serious?

It’s not to us!  Is it really so terrible an idea to just purchase YOUR size in jeans?  Have you been receiving mass appeal based upon your muffin top?  Have men been dying to touch it–to build upon that real estate?  The housing market is jacked up right now.  Who has been lying to you!?  Who have you been consulting?  That person or persons should be fired immediately!!  You should have asked a Black Man.

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Once any part of your waistline begins to double over allowing flesh to touch the outside of your bottoms–in public no less–you are venturing into troubled waters my dear, and I, for one, can no longer sit in tacit agreement and allow this to happen without offering some correction.

It is time for us all to be okay with our bodies or do something about what we don’t like; however, and I cannot stress this enough, buying shorts or jeans or pants or skirts that are a few sizes too small for you, IS NOT THE ANSWER.  I repeat, that is not the answer.  I’m writing that in red like Jesus’ words in the Bible because this is gospel that I’m giving you.

…there’s gotta be some rules people!


Do you hear me Mexican women?  This goes double for you!

(Rule 47:  Muffin top is just not cute)

11 thoughts on “WTF Wednesday: Muffin Top

  1. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha *breathes* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *puffs inhaler* hahahahahahahahahaha

    I fully agree and will add this: “Denim companies, stop making skinny jeans!! Anyone who is TRULY skinny enough to wear them is someone who needs to stop doing drugs and just eat some damn food. This also applies to jean shorts and straight jean skirts! REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES! Allow for that in the clothing you manufacture.”

    The Spook has spoken.

    • Wait, I’m supposed to believe that some women are naturally fat, but none are naturally skinny?

      Sure. I’ll buy that.


      Seriously, sick of fat girls and their defensive lines, like “real women have curves.” Real women come in all sizes…. fatty. 🙂

  2. I had to link this one up on FB. This one definitely deserves some traffic, if only for its public service implications…

  3. LOL wow…
    I must bring the female perspective on the issue though. You see… a majority of the time female clothing are created to cater thin model women that are shaped like a board []. They are designed by men unaware of the average curved women or women that would rather design a clothing line that would specifically entice the rich and famous to purchase and leave the average woman out to dry.
    They create jeans that are often made unproportionate where legs will fit and the waist too small or fit in the waist and too small/big in the legs which sometimes to be blunt ends up looking as though we are pitching a tent in the front. Also, there is the problem with popularity where we have 2 options; low cut jeans (yeah lets show off our underwear) and high waisted jeaned (yay for Mom pants). Why can’t anyone make a simple blue jean that sits on waist and flatters our freakin curves?

    Now, I’m not saying there isn’t still a problem with females choosing the wrong size pant. In fact you often see women that choose to wear tight jeans purposely to the point where they are sporting a camel toe or it looks as though their butt is eating away their pants.

    I believe that’s more of a problem than the muffin top. I admit to having the muffin top on occasion but that’s because my pants slip down and I just need to pull them up, not the over spillage you talking about (muffin top none the less).

    While on the subject though, What about men and their beer belly’s and love handles?

    • Following the logic of the first commentator – I am naturally skinny, real women must not have curves. -enter derogatory suggestions on how to lose weight-

      To really answer your question, try ‘slacks’ – maybe jeans are made of too thick a material to contour to your curves.

      • Then why do men Love Boobs and ass. There are many women out there that are a size 6 and below where they have the same problem. I’m not saying that real woman are suppose to be “fat” as you have described it, but have the hour glass figure and not be confused for a man.

        I do not know where you get off saying that real women do not have curves. Have you ever studied humanities? Over centuries women that have been said to have curves were envied and desired. Artworks and fashions, and plain old history has pointed to this. Heck even men of today droll over the cartoon character Jessica Rabbit and man does she ever have curves.

        So if you would rather be strait as a board and be mistaken for a guy, kudos to you and that’s how you choose to live your life, but don’t push off your simplistic ideals of something far from fact.

        Here’s a quarter and buy yourself and education and a clue.

        ~Lady Temptress

        • Nah, you’re taking it all wrong. My statement that real women don’t have curves was sarcasm.
          But you did prove my point… Large women expect people to believe they are naturally large and that it doesn’t always mean they are lazy, or have no self control with food. They also expect others to believe that skinny people simply don’t eat, or maybe they’re just speed freaks.
          As a very skinny girl who has always been lazy and can’t put down the donuts, I do believe that, as I can do nothing to gain weight, some people can’t do anything to lose weight.
          So, it’s not how I choose to live my life, as you say(rude!), nor is it something I even remotely pushed off as fact… c’mon, that post was dripping with sarcasm.

          I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’d normally keep my thoughts and comments to myself, if fat girls weren’t always trying to make me out for ‘not a real women.’ Hope you get it this time, I don’t really want to try to point out this double standard anymore.

          • Sarcasm is form of irony in which apparent praise conceals another and as per usual etiquette, if you are to use sarcasm then you make your true point across afterwards because then what is the point for the sarcasm? Otherwise, I do not believe there was any intent of sarcasm because if there were then why the judgmental term of calling people fat (great way to prove a point by the way *rolls eyes*) and ridicules advice (Slacks are not the way to go).

            If you didn’t want a hostel response then do give a hostel answer to try and placate sarcasm. Give your real point and back up your opinion. That’s all that’s needed in contributing your opinion.

        • So… it’s ok for fatties to say i’m not a real woman, and that there is no way one can ever be naturally skinny, but i should never ever say anything that might be taken as rude by a “large” person (is that the right term?).

          “then why the judgmental term of calling people fat ” — she implied I, and any other skinny women, are druggies who don’t eat- i hardly think calling her “fat” compares in the “judgmental” department.
          Sorry, I’m just delirious from this 2 week meth bender!

          p.s. you cant find jeans to fit, you don’t like slacks…. what are those one things, mumu? moo moo? yeah.
          pps – which hostel?

          • A. What makes you think that I’m over weight?

            B. This is all about the muffin top and unrealistic clothing lines that do not flatter the hour glass shape. When women speak of “real women have curve” they are often talking about women that are not the size of a 2″ by 4″ that have eating disorders.

            C. If you want to have an argument with the other person in regards to the issue you have with them, stay arguing with them. I never said that thin women weren’t real women. In fact I don’t think you ever read my post in the first place and just came to bash and ridicule other’s sizes. You put a shame on women for your conceited and narrow mindedness. It is often people like you that cause any woman to feel ashamed to be themselves and to be happy for who they are and have the confidence in how they look.

            d. I do have jeans that fit well, but I was emphasizing the fact that well know designers market themselves to the rich masses and anorexic models. The style of designs the average girl had to choose from is ridicules and often are poorly made. Like I stated before there are even size 6 females that sport the muffin top just for the fact that there cloths are poorly made. As per your suggestion of slacks to “solve my problem,” is a stupid suggestion because the material for slacks is not as forgiving as to jeans and often times worse.

            My apologies for not spelling the right “hostile,” but as least I’m not expressing my statement of opinion all based around the word “fatties” sounding like an uneducated moron, not being about to back up my opinion like a broken record.

  4. Actually, there are several clothing lines that cater to women with curves. In LA there is Up Against the Wall, Lane Bryant, Baby Phat, Apple Bottom, and several others at various boutiques and even 7 Jeans and True Religion make jeans for women with curves.

    For my interests, curves have never been out of style, but of late, with the popularity of non-Black celebrities like Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian, curves have come to be appreciated by White women. In light of this recent “trend,” many designers have taken curves into consideration. As I’m a heterosexual man, I could really care less how men look in their pants. While I’m disgusted by anyone who wants to allow their belly to hang below their shirt rather than just buying clothes that fit, my focus is naturally on women.

    I think muffin top is wholly avoidable. It’s not that hard people. Purchase your size, and muffin top can be avoided.

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