The Most Innovative Birthday Gift Ever!

I have often spent hours–even days–trying to come up with ideas for good birthday gifts.  Sometimes I do well.  Sometimes I don’t.

All this time I’ve been struggling to figure out what to get, and I could’ve just offered “birthday sex.”  For women, this might not seem that novel an idea.  After all, women regularly offer sex as Valentine’s Day gifts (CHEAP!), but for brothas, this is absolute genius.  It’s inexpensive, it benefits us, and we can try to present it in novel way.  Of course, the probability of us actually going all night is slim to none, but work with us.  We’re selling a fantasy.  And, ladies, after you get your normal ten minute disappointing roll in the sack with the same old man doing the same old things, think to yourself, “I’ll just get him back on V-day!”

…no rules necessary :~)

16 thoughts on “The Most Innovative Birthday Gift Ever!

  1. unacceptable, where’s the thought in it? at least women try to dress up, buy a naughty outfit, create a moment. if it’s “birthday sex” it’s gotta be something different than the night before.

    • You can “dress up” if you want, but as long as you’re relying on sex (the same sex I got the day before and that I’ll get the day after), the “thought” you put into your gift doesn’t count. Do better ladies! Do better.

  2. excuse me. but the sex you had the night before and the sex you get the night after will NOT be the sex you get on ya birthday. and maybe i just make sure to have a distinct difference. now, i know you don’t wanna know details so i’ll spare you, but just know i make sure birthday sex is distinctly different so that he looks forward to it every year.

    • Well, I would like to submit that unless you have a rented vagina or you’re adding another woman, whatever you’re doing won’t be so much more spectacular than what you normally do, and if it is, then boo on you for not ALWAYS being sexually exciting.

      …and you’re right! I have no interest in the details.

  3. LOL. I have to agree with Black Man. Birthday sex can not be the *only* gift you give your sig. other for their birthday. I’m not the one to have average, mediocre sex every other night of the year but give him *the bomb* on his birthday. It’s either great everytime or it’s not! Cook him dinner, rub his back, watch his favorite movie with him, THEN give him some birthday sex, and men should do the same for their women! Just ’cause you’re broke doesn’t mean you can’t make his/her day special. Do better!

    I do love the song though!

    • How about a gift? Who doesn’t like receiving gifts? I mean, the sex and back rub and all of that is nice, but if my birthday is supposed to be special, then do something special–something out of the ordinary. You should be rubbing my back anyhow. I shouldn’t have to wait until my birthday to get a meal. What is the world coming to?

      We ought to be taking care of each other better than this, and if I’m wrong, then “birthday sex” it is from now on!

      • You’re absolutely right! I want a gift, got-dammit! I’m just saying, if money is the issue then all those things are nice. Just make the day (and night 😉 ) special, right?

  4. Exactly! And since you KNOW when my birthday is, you’re telling me that you can’t save $20 to make me something or get me SOMETHING? C’mon. Do better!

  5. So, to respond to what you said to me . . . Imma say this: your friend had NO PROBLEMS with regular sex, holiday sex, birthday sex . . . it’s the gift that keeps on giving and I haven’t had complaints yet. Maybe it’s ya own personal experiences that suck. *tsk tsk* YOU’VE got to better!

    • Or, maybe you and ALL women should realize that very few men will complain about sex because men tend to not be offered it nearly as often as women are. Also, you know how “he” is. He is so unconcerned about sex. He goes without no problem. What you were, my dear, was cheap. lol

  6. And here you are complaining. Aww, tryna be the “exception”. Being offered sex and accepting sex are different though. And he will turn down an offer. In my own experiences I’ve asked a guy what he wants for his birthday or christmas and often times I get “I don’t know” or “I don’t really want anything”. So I could do nothing, or you can get sex. I usually make a card too, but not everyone appreciates a handmade card.

    • Well, I would really appreciate a handmade card (don’t forget me when you get famous with that too!). I just think sex is a poor excuse for not trying to really make the night special. A face-melting sexual escapade is a good way to top off the night, but it shouldn’t be the opening act, headliner, and the afterparty.

      But, I’m definitely not complaining. If “birthday sex” is a good idea for women from men, COUNT ME IN!

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