Why You Will Never See a 10 on a 1-10 Scale

Beyonce Nope.

In alignment with my intellectual running buddy and blog mate, I feel compelled to cosign on a recent post of his titled, One Man’s Attractiveness Hierarchy: Just What Constitutes a 10?!

Boris Nuh-uh.

In that post, Sun concludes that no one can ascend to the level of a 10, contending that it is such a physical, biological, and/or genetic feat, requiring such a maelstrom of phenotypical forces, that it is simply not humanly possible to be that damned good looking.  Perhaps that was the real problem in Gomorrah.  The town’s inhabitants were of such unearthly, unheretofore seen beauty that merely looking at each other eventually led to an unnatural elevation in their heart rates that caused them to literally overheat and implode.  One day I’ll have to catch up on my Dead Sea Scrolls reading.  But I digress.

Halle Negative.

Here’s why I say a 10 ranking just aint in the cards for us humanoids: It’s too subjective.  Think about it.  Is there anybody that is universally considered beautiful?  There are some physical traits and characteristics that are almost universally valued, but I seriously doubt earth has ever produced a human who everyone thought was equally attractive.  Close your eyes and envision the finest human specimen you can possibly imagine.  Now open your eyes.  Go to work tomorrow.  Ask 5 of your coworkers–but make it a random sample, and for science’s sake, choose people who are as unlike you as possible–if they agree that the person you envisioned is as all that as you think.  I’ll bet Sundjata’s next paycheck that at least 2 of them disagree with you.

Idris No, no, no.

But here is the real reason why a 10 ranking is simply not attainable: You’re gonna need much more than looks to be a 10–and therein lies the problem.  Most certified 9’s don’t give two damn’s about producing, creating, doing, or being anything other than the physical manifestation of their nineness.  For example, Beyonce is fine.  Real fine.  So fine that she successfully crafted a way to reproduce her fineness and have her fineness canvassed across wide screens, stages, and billboards.  Her fineness (and no doubt talent) has earned her gazillions of dollars, and I begrudge her for none of this.

But at the end of the proverbial day, who cares?  Shall we keep it real?  If so, then ask yourself if the world is a better place because of Beyonce.  In fact, I’d bet that millions of girls, Black, White, and otherwise, are at this moment undereating, hair weaving, hair bleaching, skin dying, and skimpy clothes buying their way into what their fragile self-concept’s are telling them might eventually be a close enough replica of Beyonce.

And, if we ask that same question according to her resources (to she whom much is given…), her overall contribution is at best negligible.  Oprah has a school!  Beyonce has a clothing line.  ‘Nuff said.

But, because I’d like to leave you with a happy ending,  I’ll tell you who could be a 10: Michelle Obama.  She has the physical gifts to be at least a certified 7, probably an 8, and perhaps a 9.  However, it is her keen intellect, her newly acquired power, and what we’re hoping is a deep concern for our problems that could catapult her into 10 status.  If she could get her hubby to budge on single-payer or even public option healthcare, a new foreign policy regarding Africa and the Caribbean, and new domestic policies that have a real, tangible, positive effect on those who need it most (read: Black people), then, by its very definition, she will in fact be a 10.  Keeping it trilla, I’m not even saying she isn’t a 10 now.  That woman is fresher than suede Puma’s and Gazelle glasses.

michelle_obama_ebony_cover Yes she is!

8 thoughts on “Why You Will Never See a 10 on a 1-10 Scale

  1. Thanks for being willing to bet my pay. I appreciate your confidence in yourself. That’s very White of you.

    Indeed, beauty is culturally defined. For proof, look at Tungan women.

    (I’d like to say that I like the boldness you displayed in embedding pics of attractive Black men with no noticeable reserveration.)

  2. No problem my friend. I felt the need to make a statement, and your paycheck was just the collateral I needed to let these people know I mean business. Anytime.

    As for the brothers in the post, yeah, that was a tough one. This was written while the misses was nowhere around, of course.

  3. I love that pic of BEYONCE’. She is sooooo pretty. I bet guys be flirting with her instead of crying or screaming that they see BEYONCE’!!!!!!!!!!!!

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