Here are the reasons why you should just kill yourselves:
Men: Your penis is too skinny, too short, and you climax way too quickly. You’re balding in the worst way. You are so short. You don’t have any muscles, any swagger, and you’re too passive–too aggressive. You don’t know how to treat a woman, and I did I mention how pathetic your penis is? Oh. Well, it really does suck, and if I were you, I would hate myself as much as the rest of us hate you!
Women: I’m glad that you asked because we have so much to do. Actually, I really don’t like the way your vagina looks, and besides you’re just a little too loose. No for real. You’re beyond Kegels. Now, we can also do something about your weight, your lips, your flat and slumped butt, your skin, your hair, and what you wear. Actually, I’m not sure we can help you, but you can make things better for us all by just killing yourself!
My earlier post on attractive hierarchies earned a comment about a lack of discussing the intangibles that people may have that might “bump” them up to the next level of attractiveness. Well, I’ll discuss those intangibles another day.
In this post I hope to draw attention to the all-out attack on our collective self-esteem that is ongoing. Think about what we are being told with the ads we receive online, on TV, in magazines, and every other form of media we have. We are told all the day long, “YOU SUCK! YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!” More importantly, we believe this stuff, so my list leaves out the intangibles, but the intangibles are negligible. No matter how much we try to convince ourselves otherwise, we would prefer to be with an attractive useless somebody than someone with the intangibles like a good heart that make life worth living. The former is just far more exciting, and to be honest, I hate that about this culture!
Let me just say that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. There are so many ways to please a woman sexually that your penis size is almost negligible, and a woman who would leave you because of sex is not worth the vagina she’s sitting on (yeah I said it!). Moreover, there is no such thing as premature ejaculation. The purpose of sex is for the man to ejaculate. Congratulate yourself whenever it happens. Many more men have real penile dysfunction that disables them from even achieving an erection! You’re not too short, and you don’t have to work out. And, well, you ought to be in love with yourself, and that will increase the gravity of YOU.
You don’t need breast augmentation, please do not shoot lasers at your labia (either set), and DO NOT get a butt implant. Your skin is as it is. You will get older, so embrace that, and any man who would leave you because you don’t look like someone else was never interested in you in the first place. He certainly wasn’t interested in you for the right reasons.
Love yourselves people. Love yourselves. I promise that if you focus on you, you will discover beauty in yourself that you might have missed before. All the body enhancement procedures that exist…(sigh)…just because we can doesn’t mean that we should.
We are risking ridicule:
…there’s gotta be some rules people.